It's Time to Play the Music!

It's time to light the lights!

It’s time to meet the Fellowship on the Muppets Show Tonight!

That’s right! We’re doing something this week that I’ve been threatening to do for a long time! We’re casting The Fellowship of the Ring as MUPPETS.

One true fact about me is that I absolutely adore the Muppets in every way, shape, and form. I love Jim Henson, and I will take every opportunity to put together a Muppets Cast of something that I truly love (I’ve got a locked-and-loaded Muppets Hamlet if anyone is interested in that as well). I think there’s something so unique and special about a Muppets version of things, and it provides a sense of whimsy that is really undeniable.

That being said, I think that a Muppets cast of the Fellowship would be absolutely brilliant, and something I’d love to work on, which is why I decided to go ahead and do it! In order to cast the Muppets, not only do you have to have a really clear idea of who the Muppets are as characters (their personalities, what they’d bring to a particular role) but you also have to have a really clear idea of which characters they’re playing. For example, in Muppets Hamlet, one would never cast Sam the Eagle as Horatio, because it doesn’t make sense for Sam’s personality or Horatio’s relationship with Hamlet. However, in knowing the Muppets and in knowing Hamlet, we could solidly cast Miss Piggy as Gertrude over Ophelia, because Gertrude gets to die on stage and Piggy would like that so much more.

So, with all of that in mind, let’s cast the Fellowship! (I want to be so clear, I’m just casting the Fellowship themselves, and not the entirety of everyone who appears in Fellowship of the Ring. That would take way too long and would make me want to rip my hair out.) Another disclaimer I’d like to give is that often, with the Muppets, there is one or two human cast members to round things out. People like Michael Caine or Tim Curry (or Darren Criss in my cast of Muppets Hamlet, just trust me on this, okay.) I will be utilizing this rule here, for maximum comedic effect, and because there’s one character who I simply will not assign a Muppet. He stands alone amongst them all, not just because he’s hilarious, but because it suits him best.

Now, with all of that out of the way, let’s go! (SPOILERS FOR LORD OF THE RINGS. ALL OF THEM.)

Frodo

Our main character, our media darling, for Frodo, there is no choice other than the one and only Kermit the Frog.

This one is a little bit obvious but there are some quotes about Kermit that I’d love for people to consider on top of just “well, Frodo is the main character, so why wouldn’t it be Kermit?”

First, we have a quote from Frank Oz, one of the original Muppets creators, about Kermit the Frog: "he has all these zany characters and a world around him and he tries to be the center and hold everything together...sometimes he gets too much and blows his top, but essentially he kind of goes with the flow."

And next, we have a quote from Brian Henson, Jim Henson’s son: "coming out of [Jim Henson’s] own personality—was a wry intelligence, a little bit of a naughtiness, but Kermit always loved everyone around and also loved a good prank.”

To me, both of these quotes absolutely scream “he’s spiritually a hobbit.” But also, I love that Oz describes Kermit as “he tries to be the center” because that’s exactly how Frodo is too, right? Spiritually, he’s the center of the Fellowship. He has the ring. But the emphasis on the word “tries” there really gives away the fact that neither Kermit nor Frodo are actually really in control when it comes to their circumstances.

Samwise

Okay, because we’re going with Kermit for Frodo, I feel like the choice for Samwise is pretty obvious. None other than everyone’s favorite terrible comedian: Fozzie Bear!

Fozzie and Kermit, much like Sam and Frodo, have been together since the beginning. There is no Frank Oz without Jim Henson, this much is true. But also, neither of them would make it very far without the other’s help! They disagree sometimes, sure, all friends do, but at the end of the day, you know that it would be Fozzie cracking absolutely terrible jokes while carrying Kermit up Mount Doom. There’s no question.

Merry

On to the first of our non-obvious castings, and that would be the ever-delightful Meriadoc Brandybuck, more commonly known as Merry. For Merry, I’ve made the very purposeful decision to cast my personal all-time favorite Muppet, Gonzo the Great.

This decision is based entirely around the fact that Merry decides to attempt to take on the Witch-king of Angmar by himself, despite being a hobbit and all that comes with that.

One thing we know about Gonzo is that Gonzo is a daredevil. Often, Gonzo can be seen trying to pull of absolutely absurd stunts, with little to no consideration for his own well-being. For Merry, it wasn’t about whether or not he would be hurt when he went up against the Witch-king, it was about doing the best that he could in order to protect his friends and the rest of the world as well. He saw his chance to be brave, and he took it. Merry, much like Gonzo, continues to be brave for the rest of his life, without question.

Does this make Éowyn Camilla the Chicken?

I’m moving on.

Pippin

There’s only one person who sticks by Gonzo’s side more than Camilla the Chicken herself, and that is the one and only Pepe the King Prawn. So naturally, Pepe and Pippin are one and the same. Lots of people would probably ask why I would cast such a hated Muppet as such a beloved character in the Fellowship, or maybe you’re asking yourself why I didn’t pick Rizzo the Rat for this particular instance. To those people, I say: this is my cast list, and I’m doing as I please.

Additionally, Pepe and Gonzo are close besties, and Pippin and Merry are close besties. Rizzo the Rat appears later, just trust me.

Gandalf

For Gandalf, I’ve chosen the ever-popular Dr. Teeth. I recognize that this one needs quite a bit of explaining, because he’s absolutely not the first choice for our man Gandalf (either the Grey or the White). So this entry might be a little bit longer than the others. First, it’s obviously to be able to make the joke that Gandalf absolutely knows how to get a band together. *ba-dum-tss*

Okay, now that the joke is out of the way, here’s the more serious reason. Gandalf and Dr. Teeth both went through a very interesting sort of rebirth. Gandalf obviously transforms from Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the White at the hands of the Balrog. But what about Dr. Teeth?

So, Dr. Teeth was one of the Muppets characters actually puppeted and voiced by Jim Henson himself. It is stated often that Dr. Teeth’s voice was one of the hardest for Henson to do, which meant that he didn’t often get speaking roles. In fact, Dr. Teeth only sings lead vocals on the second pilot and during the first season, which was well before Rowlf the Dog was established as the Muppets’ lead pianist. After that, his roles diminished. They continued to diminish even further after Jim Henson passed away, with his first appearance after Henson’s death being in Statler and Waldorf’s show.

But don’t worry! Here comes the rebirth! In 2005, Bill Barretta took over the role of Dr. Teeth, and has been performing him consistently since then. Like Gandalf the White, we see him rise to power, to the point where Dr. Teeth now has his own show (which you should absolutely check out if you’re able to).

Aragorn

My one and only exception to the Muppets cast. I feel like you could’ve seen this one coming from a mile away, but in this production, Aragorn is to be the sole human cast member. I also think that I’m keeping his film casting, so he’ll continue to be played by Viggo Mortensen. I just think that Viggo would really like that, and we’d get another fantastic situation much like when Michael Caine played Ebenezer Scrooge.

Truly, there’s no one who understands the role of Strider/Aragorn so deeply as Viggo did, and I really think that being surrounded by a cast of Muppets, he would maintain his fabulous demeanor, and keep everyone grounded while also performing a flawless Ranger for us.

Boromir

Can I tell you a secret? Boromir is actually my favorite member of the Fellowship, and this was a very, very hard role to cast. He wasn’t cast last of them all, but it did take me some time to find the appropriate answer. And for my absolute favorite, I think I’m proudest of this one. Boromir, in this adaptation, will be played by Rizzo the Rat.

Why? you might ask. Well, I’ll tell you. First things first, Rizzo is a good friend to Gonzo and Pepe. I believe in my heart and soul that Rizzo would give his life for Gonzo, if he absolutely had to, much in the way that Boromir protects his dear friends Merry and Pippin when it comes down to it.

Additionally, I think that Rizzo is a very easily tempted character. Much like our best human friend is tempted by the ring, which ultimately leads to his continuing guilt up to his death, (which Aragorn stays throughout, another hilarious situation if you consider that it’ll be Viggo Mortensen holding a rat puppet), I think that Rizzo the rat would be tempted by pizza, which would be a hilarious physical gag throughout the entirety of the Muppets Fellowship.

Legolas

This one is a little bit ridiculous, but for Legolas I’ve chosen Sam Eagle. Every so often, there has to be a character that is purely comedic relief in the Muppets, and I think that Sam Eagle serves that purpose in his role as Legolas. Additionally, he’s an eagle. His eyesight is perfect, and his hearing is even better. That makes him perfectly suited for the role of an elf!

Another reason I’ve chosen Sam Eagle to portray Legolas is the fact that Sam is willing to be combative with almost anyone he disagrees with. He’s constantly trying to uphold his own point of view, and refusing to see that of others, which is frequently how people see the elves, but also puts him perfectly at odds with our next (and final casting). That being…

Gimli

So, for Gimli, I needed someone that Sam Eagle was going to want to fight, but also someone that was visually very gruff and kind of intimidating, as dwarves often are. So you’ll have to laugh at another comic relief choice, but I promise there’s information to back this up. For Gimli, I have chosen Sweetums.

Okay, take a second to laugh.

As one of the largest Muppets, Sweetums is frequently puppeted in a full-body suit, making him significantly bigger than any other Muppet character. He’s intimidating and often scary, with huge tusks and a bulldog-esque face. People misunderstand him a lot. Which is why I think he’s perfect for Gimli! Sweetums is an absolute sweetheart, hence his name, and is often shown as friends with Robin the Frog (Kermit’s nephew, one of the smallest Muppets.) He really just wants to help his friends, and he’s die-hard loyal. Is it making sense yet? Maybe people wouldn’t have jumped to Sweetums as a first choice for a main-cast Muppets movie, but I think he deserves the love (he’s one of my top 5 favorite Muppets.)

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Bonus casting: Miss Piggy as Galadriel. You know she’d eat that up all day long.

This concludes our Muppets cast of the Fellowship of the Ring. I feel pretty solid about it, but if you have any adjustments or other options you’d like me to consider, please feel free to comment below, because I’d love to hear what you think.

Thanks for hanging out this week! As always, I’ll leave you with a little piece of something fun. This week, you get this instructional video from the Swedish Chef, teaching you his favorite way to make popcorn. Enjoy!